


Meet the Devil in Law

by GlitterSkullFairy



Series: Epic Threesomes and Lazy Sunday Afternoons [7]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, I got Douchifer in my Deckerstar, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, It Gets Better, Love Wins, Multi, OT3, Sorry it hurt to write some of this but I needed to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-05 12:46:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17325266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterSkullFairy/pseuds/GlitterSkullFairy
Summary: Lucifer is taken to meet Dan's parents and siblings.  Everyone is a bit worried about it.  Things don't go well.  But then they get better.





	Meet the Devil in Law

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FluffyGlitterPantsDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyGlitterPantsDragon/gifts).



> Ok, TRIGGER WARNING: there is some homophobic crap thrown around in this story. I have tried to handle it in a sensitive manner, and to show that those kinds of attitudes are not okay.  
> I promise that everything will be okay in the end though. They really do all care about each other.
> 
> Huge thanks to FluffyGlitterPantsDragon for super awesome beta work and sharing the epic task of growing the Espinoza family tree. Yes, we are in cahoots.

Lucifer flicked through Spotify, the music in the car bouncing from one track to the next within the first few lines of each song. “Would you stop that and just pick something?” Dan moaned from behind the steering wheel. “It’s a long drive to my sister’s and if you keep switching songs I’m going to go mad before we even get there.”

“Well, if you’d let me drive, you could choose the music yourself. And we would get there a lot faster.”

“You can drive us all home after. We’ll need a drink or two to get through this, and you’ll be the only one legally under the limit.”

“And how is that going to impress your family, if I spend all day swigging and then get in the car to drive their granddaughter home?”

“Boys!” Chloe’s voice called warningly from the back seat. “I know you’re both nervous, but can we at least hold off on the bickering until we get there? Trust me, you will need all the patience you can get.”

“They’re not that bad,” Dan asserted. 

“No, but we are about to unleash the former King of Hell on them as our new husband. There will be reactions. If it makes things better, I’ll stay sober enough to drive back.”

“It’s very noble of you, darling, but are you sure?” Lucifer asked, peering over his shoulder at her.

“No, but it’s better than any of the alternatives. Plus I’ve had my interrogation already, at Christmas. I need Dan relaxed and Lucifer on his best behaviour.”

“Yeah, Mom’s the only one with a chance of staying sane today, so you better listen to her,” Trixie advised. “And pass me the phone, I’ll pick some music.”

 

They managed to keep from squabbling the rest of the way, and gathered outside the front door of the house. Lucifer hesitated. “They’re going to hate me,” he said.

“Don’t be crazy,” Chloe assured him, “everybody loves you. You charmed the pants off my mom, remember?”

“Totally different scenario. I hadn’t just corrupted her offspring.” He tugged at his cuff-links. “Still, I suppose we better get it over with.”

“Right,” Dan said with a slow, deep breath, and pressed the doorbell.

Sofia answered, tight curls bouncing around her face, a small child on her hip and her husband hovering behind. “Dan! Welcome!” she reached an arm over his shoulders and kissed his cheek as he walked in, and then grabbed Chloe in the same fashion. “Chloe, I missed you, it is great to have you back.” She didn’t even seem to notice the implications of her greeting.

Trixie put her hand at the back of Lucifer’s light grey jacket and gave him a gentle shove. “Hi, Auntie Sofia, this is Lucifer!”

He looked up at her, and their eyes met briefly. A rosy blush grew on her cheeks and she quickly became flustered, so he turned his head away.

Sofia’s husband cleared his throat. “Hi, I’m Mark,” he said, extending a hand, which Lucifer shook firmly. Then he suddenly seemed to remember he had something in his other hand.

“I brought plonk,” he said, because English slang was always endearing to Americans, wasn’t it? Actually, it was a selection of very good red wine from his personal cellar, cunningly disguised in a cardboard carrier from the grocery store. Dan had insisted that if he’d showed up with the kind of wine that came in a wooden box, they would think he was showing off. Lucifer had argued that he wasn’t going to spend all afternoon drinking swill from from a screw-top bottle. The compromise was to bring the good stuff but be subtle about it. The family would appreciate it was good, but not _how_ good, and as long as nobody Googled it they would be safe.

“Thanks,” Mark said, taking the offered carrier, and they both shuffled silently in place. How was it Lucifer could face all the hordes of Hell without a single twinge, but standing in front these two and their spawn it felt like rats had taken up residence in his belly? Must be something to do with having the Detective nearby.

Trixie saved the whole moment by barreling into her aunt with arms outstretched. “Victoria’s getting big!” she said, full of admiration, which started Sofia off on a tale of the child’s exploits that went on as she led them into the kitchen and got out mugs for coffee. The four year old wiggled free and went back to her dolls under the front window. Dan’s brother, Kevin, was seated at the table, and he gave them a polite nod, but didn’t interrupt his sister’s flow. He looked a lot like Dan might if he didn’t spend so much time at the gym and the beach. Trixie hugged him too, and then sat on the floor playing with her cousin. Sofia paused long enough to get the greetings over with and sit them all in a selection of mismatched chairs. “Mom and Dad are on the way, I’ve made some nachos for when they get here. Jamie’s upstairs sorting out Maria.” She set the mugs down in front of all them, though Trixie’s was filled with milk. Lucifer sipped his cautiously. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t brilliant either. He started to reach for his flask, but Chloe gave him a stern look and shook his head. 

Jamie appeared with the baby and handed her back to Sofia with a grimace, her long, straight ponytail bobbing behind her. “And that is one reason why I am never having children,” she said. “It was disgusting.” 

“Trust me, it's better now than it was six months ago, before she started on solid food,” Sofia replied, and then continued to chatter away about the joys of motherhood, to which Chloe nodded in appropriate places until the doorbell rang again. Sofia excused herself and disappeared into the hallway, but didn’t come back straight away. They heard the enthusiastic greetings, this time in Spanish, but then some very subdued muttering. It was too quiet to hear all of it, but the word “diablo” came up once or twice.

“So, Mark, what do you do?” Lucifer asked, trying to find a conversation while they waited.

“I’m an accountant.” Well that clearly that wasn’t going to work.

“I work in IT,” Kevin offered.

“Really?” Lucifer actually sounded interested. “Are you the IT guy who resets passwords, or the IT guy who’s working on the next Wobble?”

“Somewhere in the middle. I’m an infrastructure engineer. It’s kind of a dev-ops role. I’ve got my RHCE.”

“I see.”

Mark got up again to make more coffee, and Jamie pulled out her phone to check for messages. Trixie began a commentary on the baby doll’s activities, which might have been cute if she’d had more experience in that area, but her imagination tended more towards scientific discovery and space adventures, so it was somewhat lacking. Victoria started to fill in the gaps with more detail than perhaps was necessary.

The voices in the hallway were getting more insistent, but then a deeper voice cut over them and they both fell silent. Then, barely audibly, and still in Spanish, _”Can we at least talk to the man before we damn him to Hell?”_

“Too late,” Lucifer muttered so only Dan could hear, “been there, done that.”

Dan’s mom and dad were ushered into the room by their eldest daughter, all three of them with forced smiles stuck on their faces. Trixie leapt up immediately and greeted them with more enthusiasm than one might expect from an almost-teenager, and then they went round and hugged each of their children in turn before squashing into the places saved for them at the end of the table. Dan introduced Lucifer again, and he offered his hand politely, along with his most winning smile. The parents took the hand, but wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Told you,” he muttered in Dan’s ear as he resumed his seat.

“Shut up and be charming,” Dan muttered back. But he also reached under the table and stroked his thigh affectionately.

Sofia passed the baby back to her husband and presented them all with a huge platter of the promised nachos. Everyone, including the Devil, complimented her efforts and said how delicious they were.

“I can’t take all the credit, it’s Mom’s recipe.”

“Mrs. Espinoza, I’m impressed. Will you share the secret?” Lucifer asked.

She grunted, without looking up. “Family recipe.”

“Mom,” Dan said, a thin veil over his umbrage, “Lucifer _is_ family.”

“Hrmmff,” was the only reply.

“He really is,” Trixie put in, not knowing when to leave it alone. “They all have matching eternity rings and everything.”

It wasn’t exactly the way Dan wanted to announce their commitment, but it was out there now, and he better deal with what came next. For a few moments, it was only silence, as the rest of his family let their eyes fall over each of their hands, taking in the shining bands.

“Aren’t you supposed to get married before you get one of those?” his dad asked pointedly.

“But they can’t, _legally,_ can they?” Kevin put in. “I thought your job was to uphold the law, not find ways to wiggle around it.”

“Really? We’re just wading straight in there, before we’ve even finished lunch?”

“We have legitimate concerns, son, it’s difficult to ignore them,” Dad said.

“Yes, and you made them all very clear at Christmas. But in spite of that, the three of us have made promises to each other, we’re committed to each other. And I hoped that if I could show you that today, you might understand.”

“Understand? This?” his mother gestured wildly at the three of them. “How can we understand this? How can a relationship like this work?”

“It works because we love each other, and we put in the effort to make it work, just like anyone else.”

“No! Not like anyone else. One man, one woman, that is how is was ordained by God in the beginning.”

“Really, you’re playing the Adam and Eve card?” The Devil looked like he was about to pounce.

“Lucifer,” Dan warned, but he went on regardless.

“Because that worked out so well for their family, didn’t it? With the disobedience, and the cursing, and the fratricide.” At least he didn’t mention that he was there. Though the reminder of Cain still stung.

Mom glared, and he took the opportunity to latch onto her gaze. She softened a little under his influence. “I love your son, Mrs. Espinoza, and he loves me. And we both love Chloe. Nothing will change that, not ever. I do hope, for his sake, you can find a way to accept that.”

She reached for her purse with huff, pulled out a glittery pen and a scrap of paper. She scribbled something on it silently, and then passed it to Lucifer. His face lit up and he tucked it safely in his breast pocket with a smile. “Lovely. Perhaps I’ll make them when you visit us, and you can tell me if I’ve got it right.”

“We’ll see,” she said, making no promises.

“He really is a wonderful cook, Nana!” Trixie said, and the conversation turned to much safer topics after that, though the atmosphere was still strained.

When the nachos had all been totally demolished, Dan leant back in his chair, feeling stuffed. Lucifer still looked ill at ease, and he took his hand without thinking, stroking it with his thumb. 

“Dan, please,” Sofia said in an urgent but hushed voice. “Not in front of the children.”

“What?” he asked, bewildered, but Lucifer understood and pulled his hand away. On anyone else Dan might have described his expression as a guilty one. He deliberately took his hand again. 

“I don't want them exposed to that kind of sin.”

“It's not a sin to hold hands, Sofia,” Chloe said, taking Dan's other hand to prove her point.

“I just don't want you advertising your ...homosexuality… like that. You can do what you like in private, but keep it between yourselves.”

Dan nearly gagged. “Really?” was all he managed.

She bristled. “I don't want them growing up thinking this is normal. If you're determined to damn your own soul, so be it, but I won't let you corrupt my little ones.”

Lucifer straightened and this time Dan did nothing to stop him. “Souls are damned through guilt, not love.” He pressed his lips together as if he wanted to say more but thought better of it. “I think I'll step outside for a while. The fresh air might do me good.” He gave Dan's hand a reassuring squeeze and walked away.

The urge to slam the front door and knock it off its hinges was strong, but he resisted. He leaned his back against the wall instead, pulling out an unopened packet of cigarettes. It had been a long time since he'd smoked, but he’d brought them just in case, and was now very glad he'd done so. His lighter made a very satisfying click, and he inhaled the nicotine deeply. It's effect was strong, because of Chloe's presence and his prolonged abstinence. It soothed him well. 

The door cracked open again, and Chloe popped her head out. “Want some company?” He held an arm out wordlessly, and she stepped into it. “Trixie’s taken her cousin to play upstairs, so the grown-ups can talk.”

“You left him alone with them?” he asked, concerned.

“He’ll be fine. Just listen.”

The window was ajar, and he could hear the intervention continuing inside.

“We want you to be happy, son, we do. But this cannot be good for you.” _Father._

“It's one of the best bloody things that's ever happened to me. Second only to having Trixie.” _Well said, Daniel._

“But what will people say? What do they think about this arrangement at work? It will most likely ruin any chance of you getting a promotion.” _Brother._

“I burned my bridges in that department a long time ago, all on my own. I'm lucky I still have a job. And besides, everyone there loves Lucifer too.”

“ _But he's crazy right? He thinks he's the Devil.” Sofia. In Spanish, probably just in case he was listening._ “Doesn't anyone care about that?”

“Actually no. No one gives a shit. They just let him get on with it. And he's not crazy.”

“So he's making it all up?” _Dad again._

“No. He's just… he's just Lucifer. And that's who he is.”

“Wait, do you believe he's really the Devil?” _Jamie._

“I believe he's strong, and honest, and I've seen him do some stuff that's difficult to explain. But I don't believe he's evil. Look, I don't expect you to believe in him, I just wish you could accept him. He's important to me, and he's not going anywhere.” _Oh, my little Satanist, you say the sweetest things!_

“You don't think he's… taking advantage of you somehow?” _Sofia again. Clearly on a mission._

“Well he's certainly not after me for my money.”

“No, but… Dan, you have never shown any inclination that you were…”

“Say it. Just say it.”

“Interested in that kind of thing.”

Dan waited. Lucifer hugged Chloe a little tighter and took another long drag.

“Having sex with men!”

“I’m not having sex with men. I’m making love with one man. One very special, unique man. Because of course it doesn't occur to you that we might actually be in love with each other. That we want to be close to each other. That we enjoy just spending time together like any other couple.”

“But you're not just a couple are you?”

“No. We're a family. And that’s what I need you to understand.”

“And how does Trixie feel about all this?”

“She loves it. She loves all of us and she’s glad that we’re happy. Which she already told Mom and Dad at great length on Christmas Day. Are we done yet, or does anyone need to insult my choices some more?”

Lucifer couldn’t listen any longer. He pushed away from the wall and strode down the path towards the car. Chloe knew him well enough to know when he needed to be alone, so she went back inside and rejoined the adults. “You’ve upset him a lot, you know,” she said into the silence, leaning her hands on the edge of the table. It took Dan the barest moment to pick up on the signal out of context. She was being the bad cop.

“Did he hear all that?” Jamie asked.

“Of course he heard it. I heard it. It’s not like anyone was keeping their voices down.”

“Look, guys,” Dan interjected, hands open in front of him, “I know you mean well, but you have got to start trusting me on this. The three of us are happy together. We support each other. It works.”

“When you keep questioning our relationship, it’s hurtful. When you question Dan’s sexuality, or say that Lucifer has taken advantage of him, you hurt all of us. When you talk about our love as if it were something sinful, it makes me think twice about bringing Trixie back here, because she is going to get enough of that from the world without hearing it from her _family_ too.” She punched her finger on the table at the last comment, and then stood up with her arms crossed. 

Dan could have kissed her, right there and then, but it would have been off script. He had to play good cop, now. “Of course we don’t want to do that. Trixie adores you all. But please, just give us a chance? Give Lucifer a chance?”

His father nodded. “All right. There must be something good about him if he’s made you this determined to be with him. What do you say, Isabella?” His mother, Kevin and Jamie all nodded too.

Chloe looked at Sofia. “And you?”

“It’s not wrong to have morals.”

“No, but it’s wrong to have different standards for Lucifer than for me. And it’s definitely wrong to make your brother-in-law feel like he’s unwelcome when you invited us all here knowing the situation full well.”

“He’s not my brother _in law_ though is he? Because you can’t get married.”

“Technically, I could marry him,” Dan said. “But that wouldn’t be fair on Chloe. And it wouldn’t make a difference to you anyway, would it?”

Sofia just huffed.

“Look, just try to be nice, okay? Can you do that for your little brother?”

“I suppose so. But it doesn’t mean I suddenly approve.”

“Thank you,” Dan said. “I’ll go talk to him.”

 

Lucifer was sitting on the car’s hood, a small collection of dog ends on the road by his feet. “If they don’t change their tune, I swear I’m going to break something. Or someone,” he said.

Dan perched beside him. “Lucifer, it’s just words.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s ideas, it’s a doctrine. It’s the kind of thinking that makes me want to flash my eyes and scare their socks off, and then they’ll know that I’m telling the truth.”

“We talked about that, it’s not a good plan. They’ll call a priest to try to exorcise you or something.”

“It could be entertaining though, don’t you think? How about just the wings, then?” he suggested, and then sighed. “Don’t worry, I'm not revealing myself to a bunch of Dad’s sheep simply to justify my relationship. It probably won't make a difference anyway. They've already made up their minds. I've seen plenty of people like them through the centuries. The kind of people who despise the things that they don't understand, who make those who don't fit the mould suffer as outcasts.”

“Lucifer, this is my family, not yours. They can change. Maybe not all at once, but you're not getting any older, right?” The comment made Lucifer scoff. “Please give them another chance. For me?”

“You know I'd do anything for you love,” he replied, and reached for Dan’s cheek. “I just hate watching them hurt you.”

Dan gazed up into big brown eyes. “Nothing can hurt me with you around. You make me invulnerable.”

Lucifer smirked. “Unlike our dear wife. I suppose I can manage not to smite them. Just for your sake.”

“Thank you.” He let his hand rest on Lucifer’s thigh. “Are _you_ gonna be okay?”

“I'm a big boy, Daniel.”

Dan looked at him. It was an avoiding kind of answer. “I know this is hard for you. I know it reminds you of… stuff. But if I can help…”

“You help just by being you. And by letting me be me.”

He smiled, full of pride and affection. “I wish they could see what I see.”

“Well _that_ could go very badly. You have a unique perspective. It might be easier if they saw what Chloe sees. Or Trixie.”

“She's my secret weapon. I'll bet she's working on a devious plan right now.”

“Good girl. Have you got your car keys?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I’d like to spend a few minutes snogging your face off without offending anyone.”

Dan stood up to face him. “No one in there is going to make me hide.” His hand found the back of Lucifer’s neck, and he kissed him deeply. 

Lucifer stood, took careful hold and then dipped him backwards, like on the cover of a bodice-ripping romance novel. “Well, if they’re going to look, the least we can do is put on show.” And he kissed him again. By the time they came up for air, Dan was flushed. “Much better. Ready to go back into the lion’s den?”

“I may need a minute,” he said, as Lucifer returned him to his feet. “But you can do _that_ again when we get home.”

****

Everyone had settled in the living room when they came back inside. Mr. and Mrs. Espinoza each sat in a comfy armchair, Jamie sat on the floor, while the other four filled the sofa. Sofia had deposited her smallest child on Chloe’s lap, and the Detective’s head was moving erratically in an effort to keep up with all the “Isn’t wonderful?”s and “Don’t you think...”s that her sister (not legally) in law kept spewing forth. She gave Dan a pleading look, and he gladly relieved her of her burden, dropping to the carpet and pulling faces at the baby.

“Is that really necessary?” Lucifer asked.

“Not strictly speaking, no,” Dan replied in a happy, sing-song voice as he wiggled her in time to his words. “But it is fun.” Maria squealed her agreement and clapped her hands.

Lucifer looked at the baby. He’d never seen a human that small before. The only babies in Hell were simulacrums designed to cry and make mess all the time. Seeing one that actually smiled was peculiar. Seeing Dan going all gooey over her was even more unnerving.

Mark noticed Lucifer loitering. “I’ll grab a couple more chairs from the kitchen.”

Dan continued to bounce his niece on his knee once seated, and Lucifer kept glancing at him nervously, as if she might explode into a giant mess at any moment. Trixie and her cousin returned from upstairs, Trixie bearing a load of every conceivable item the child’s baby doll might need. Victoria stared up shyly. “Uncle Lucifer?”

He gave Trixie a knowing glare, and then turned back to the younger girl. “Yes, child?”

“Do you believe in angels?”

He stared. He would have stern words with his step-daughter later. But then again, the girl did look a bit like a mini-Trixie, with pigtails and wide, dark eyes. Trixie would never wear anything that _floral_ though. If she’d set this up, which it appeared she had, she’d planned it with an honest answer in mind. “Yes. I can tell you with absolute certainty, angels are real.” His eyes flicked to Trixie, and she she nodded, he done right then. “Why do you ask?”

“I have to start school soon. I’m scared. Mommy says sometimes angels look after us when we’re scared. I hope an angel can look after me.”

He might be having more than words with his step-daughter. But in spite of the religious nonsense, he could see that she really was worried. He leaned towards her with elbows on his knees. “Can you keep a secret?”

She nodded.

“I’m very close to a couple of angels. One of them might be able to drop in to your school from time to time and check everything’s okay. You won’t see her because she’ll be invisible, but she’ll tell me and Uncle Dan if there’s any trouble. How does that sound?”

Victoria contemplated. “What’s her name?”

“Rae-Rae.” Because his sister’s reputation may have preceded her in this case.

She smiled. “I like that name. I think that will be good.” She grabbed his hands and pushed them away from his knees. She felt sticky. He pulled away from her instinctively.

A quiet voice in his head said, _You’re already winning, but if you let her sit in your lap right now, you will have like ten thousand bonus points._ So he sat statue still as she lifted her knee up past her own waist and used it to push herself up and made herself comfortable. Then she took his hands again and pulled his arms around her waist.

“Uncle Lucifer, are you and Uncle Dan gonna have a baby?”

“It’s very unlikely, I’m afraid,” he said seriously. “If I got pregnant, I wouldn’t be able to help Aunt Chloe catch the bad guys. And my tummy would get too big for my waistcoat, and we couldn’t have that.”

Victoria giggled. “Trixie’s right, you’re funny.” Sofia finally smiled at him.

Dan’s shoulders were shaking silently.

“What about you Chloe?” Sofia asked.

“I seem to be getting that question a lot lately. But the answer’s still no, I’m afraid.”

There was another harumph from Dan’s mother. “I have four children, and only three grandkids. You all need to be fruitful and multiply!”

“Yeah, Kevin, you’re being slow,” Jamie teased. “Go get a wife.”

“I wish it were that easy,” he complained.

“Nothing good is ever easy,” Mom said, “you have to work at it.”

“It’s true,” Dan agreed. “It took Lucifer almost three years to win Chloe over.”

“Yeah, and you two totally hated each other at first,” Chloe said.

“Wait, are you the new partner he was always bit-” Jamie cut off the word and tried another one “moaning about back then?”

“Guilty as charged.”

“What changed?”

 _Please, don’t mention the pudding party! Or anything to do with sex!_ Dan prayed to the Devil silently.

“He got better,” was Lucifer’s only reply.

“ _You_ got less annoying. And we just started all hanging out together a lot more.”

“But how to get from ‘hanging out’ to this kind of commitment?”

Lucifer gazed at Dan lovingly. “I’m still not entirely sure myself. But someone tried to take him from us, and we knew we had to get him back and keep him forever.”

“What’s he talking about, son?” his dad asked.

Dan handed the baby back to her mom. “Okay, nobody panic, but I got kidnapped- only briefly, Lucifer rescued me, Chloe got the bad guy, I wasn’t even hurt enough to go to hospital. They spent the whole of the next day wrapping me in blankets and telling me how they’d never let anyone harm me again.” He reached for Lucifer’s hand, and this time nobody complained. They were all too busy gaping in shock.

“That’s actually kinda romantic,” Sofia admitted.

“It was epic, he kicked the doors down and everything,” Dan even blushed a little.

“How are any of us going to top that story? That’s just unfair,” Jamie moaned.

“We met at Church,” Mark said. “That’s it.”

“There was a bit more to it than that,” Sofia argued, and proceeded to bore Lucifer for the next ten minutes with all the details of their courtship. On the plus side, Victoria also got bored and wandered off to find something more interesting to do.

They chattered through the rest of the afternoon, catching up with news, reminiscing about old friends and places they’d been. Lucifer has brought the monopoly board, but it turned out to be much more interesting to listen to the sisters and brother telling embarrassing stories about Daniel to torture him with later. 

While he was occupied, Trixie was summoned over by her Grandfather. She perched on the arm of the chair and tried not to fidget. “Tell me more about these rings of theirs, love.”

“Lucifer gave them to Mom and Dad as a Christmas present. Well, not a _Christmas_ present because he doesn’t do Christmas, but a present at his not-really-a-Christmas-party.”

“He doesn’t like Christmas?” her Grandma asked.

“Mm-mm,” she shook her head. “Too much religious stuff. Historically, he's had several problems with religious stuff.” Which while true, sounded less significant than it was. “But they all gave each other the rings, and it was kind of like a wedding only less long and boring, and they all promised to love each other forever. And Lucifer always keeps his promises.”

“So you don’t think it’s all going to end in heartache again?”

“No, Grandpa. It’s nothing like it was before. I remember when Mom and Dad were arguing all the time, it just kept getting worse and worse. But now, if they disagree about something, Lucifer makes them talk without shouting and they listen to each other and then they make up. He has a special name for it that he learned from his therapist, but I can’t remember what it was.”

“He's seeing a therapist?”

“Of course he is. Things haven’t always been this good for him.” 

“What if one of them starts arguing with Lucifer?”

Trixie flushed slightly. “I think he likes it. It usually leads to a lot of um… kissing.” Her grandparents exchanged a look.

“Don’t they ever get jealous of each other? Fight over who gets to spend time with him?”

“Nope. We all spend time together. And we keep switching the order of the pile.”

“The pile?”

“You know, when we watch TV or something. And we all snuggle up and lean on each other.” She giggled. “Sometimes Lucifer even feeds us grapes. It used to be gummy bears, but Dad said he was going to get fat.”

“So, they’re all three altogether all the time?”

“No, not all the time. They take turns driving me to school and my karate class; Dad still goes to acting class and the gym; Mom’s a still a workaholic so she locks herself away with paperwork and Lucifer still has to go to LUX at least once a week to keep his patrons happy.”

“What’s LUX?”

“His nightclub.”

“He runs a nightclub?”

“He _owns_ a nightclub, he pays people to run it for him. But he’s very popular, and everyone loves to hear him sing. Or so I’m told, because I’m only allowed to go there when it’s closed, and only with adult supervision. But he does sing very well. He’s teaching me to play piano too.”

“It all sounds… very ordinary,” Grandpa admitted.

“It is.”

“And he doesn’t try to get you involved in any funny business?”

“They all work for the police, Grandma, there’s nothing shady going on.”

“Nothing strange, nothing dark?”

“Oh, you mean like witchcraft or dark magic? No. He hates that kind of stuff. He’s not that kind of Devil.” Trixie bit her lip, realising she’d slipped.

“But he is _some_ kind of Devil,” Grandma persisted.

“Not like you think. He’s good, he really is. He just has… family issues. Things have been really hard for him. And now he’s got us, and we’re making it better. And he makes us better too. Dad’s happier than he’s been in years. Just watch the way they look at each other, it’s _adorable._ ”

Dan’s father looked at his son again. There was a light in his eyes that he hadn’t seen a long time, not since Trixie was as young as Victoria. And then Dan exchanged a tiny glance with Lucifer, and his mouth curled up, and his chest swelled, and everything about him shouted that he really was deeply in love. There was no arguing with that look. So Mr. Espinoza decided that he would do his best to make Lucifer as much a part of this family as Chloe once was. And, damn it all, to find a way to forgive her too.

****

Lucifer shared his wine over dinner, while Isabella told them all about everything their cousins had been up to, as reported by her own sisters and in-laws. He listened to all the names, but there were so many, it was hard to keep track of who was which relation to whom. “How many are there in this family?” he whispered to Chloe. “I’m starting to think it’s as big as mine.”

“Almost,” she smirked. “Isabella’s got three sisters, they’ve got seven kids between them, though Aunt Constanza only has cats. Then on the Espinoza side, you’ve got another two brothers and two sisters, and fifteen cousins. And Uncle Allen might be gay, but no one really talks about it. I’ll admit I stopped keeping up with their grandchildren after the divorce. There's also a whole plethora of second and third cousins. Of which Carla is my favourite, but she's always so busy with her job at the hospital, we never get to see her often enough.”

“Where are we going to put them all?”

“Well, generally, they don’t all visit at once. But it makes for a long wedding list. Be glad we skipped that part.”

“Do you think we ought to do something so they don’t feel they’ve been left out? We could have a party at LUX.”

“No, really, be _glad_ you missed that part. Can you imagine that many Dans? Like, not the new improved Dan, but the old, superior, Douchey Dan?”

Lucifer’s enthusiasm suddenly dropped. “Perhaps not.”

“Mm-hm. Let’s skip it this time around.” 

By the time they went quiet again, they realised everyone had reverted to Spanish and gone back to asking Dan awkward questions again. Mostly about what Lucifer actually did in his role as consultant without any police training and why he insisted on naming himself after the Devil.

Dan gave Lucifer a look and inclined his head as if to say “Feel free to jump in any time you’re ready.” So he did. In fluent, though slightly formal, Spanish.

 _”I can take no credit for the name, I assure you,”_ he began, and all heads turned on him silently. _”Lucifer was the name my mother gave me. It does give some people concern, but I pride myself on my honesty and using a false name would feel like a lie to me.”_

The look on their faces was the best thing Chloe had ever seen. Surprise, guilt, astonishment, incredulity, and embarrassment were all there. Dan was trying to hide his enjoyment, but she saw his lips twitch. Lucifer was positively gloating.

 _”As for my work with the police,”_ he went on, with a tiny nip at his cuffs, _”I have a very long list of helpful contacts with people in positions of authority, both officially and unofficially, and also a rather unique skill set when it comes to questioning people of interest. And I suggest if you have any further questions, you direct them towards me and not my poor husband, who has put up with far more of this nonsense today than anybody has any right to expect. Now would anyone like some more wine?” _He didn’t wait for answer and began topping them all up anyway. When he got to Sofia, she put her hand over her glass quickly.__

__Chloe gave her a calculating look._ _

__“I, um…” she stammered. “I guess we’re the ones ‘being fruitful’ as requested.”_ _

__Lucifer looked her up and down and smiled. “What? Another one already?”_ _

__“We weren’t going to say anything yet,” Mark clarified. “It’s early days.”_ _

__“You do realise that the ‘be fruitful and multiply’ mandate was meant for the first humans and had been more than adequately fulfilled already.” But everyone else was already standing up and hugging her and congratulating her. He edged out of the way, and within due course everyone sat down again and finished their dinner. The rest of the conversation seemed to revolve around possible baby names, for which Trixie had some absurd suggestions, mostly revolving around Star Wars characters._ _

__“If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll step outside,” Mr. Espinoza said when everyone’s plates were empty. “I’ve been too long without nicotine. Lucifer, will you join me?”_ _

__“Well, who am I to refuse a good temptation?”_ _

__He followed his father in law to the back yard, fully prepared to respond to any assault that might befall once they were alone._ _

__“You seem edgy, kid,” Dan's dad commented as he handed him a cigarette. Lucifer's brows raised at the endearment._ _

__“Understandably so, perhaps.”_ _

__“I know, I know, meeting the parents is never easy, and the situation is unusual, but Dan's our kid, and we're just trying to figure out what's best for him, you know?”_ _

__“Don't you think he's old enough to make his own choices in that regard?”_ _

__He sparked them both up before answering. “Yes and no. My son can kinda lets his feelings get away with him. And I know things are different, but… it's not what we were expecting.”_ _

__Lucifer blew smoke into the night air; it billowed around them. “So you do care about him then?”_ _

__“Of course we care, every parent cares.”_ _

__“Not all of them.”_ _

__“Trixie said you had family issues.”_ _

__“Did she now?” he stiffened._ _

__“Nothing more than that, whatever the Hell it means.”_ _

__“Hell. That's one word for it.” He watched the thin trails rising up from the glowing point of his cigarette, and then caught his eye. “Do you really want to know the details?”_ _

__“Yes,” he replied straight away. “I wanna know what my son is getting into.”_ _

__“All right then. How shall I put this? My dear old Dad did not approve of my choices. So He punished me.”_ _

__“What kind of choices are we talking about?”_ _

__“Any of them. He wanted me to follow his particular plan for my life, but I wanted freedom.”_ _

__“What was his plan? Marriage and kids, family business?”_ _

__“Family business, of a sort. When I said I wanted to choose my own path, He hurt me, kicked me out, and never spoke to me again.”_ _

__“Your dad’s a dick.”_ _

__Lucifer scoffed. “Quite.”_ _

__“And where was your mother in all this?”_ _

__He took a long drag and exhaled slowly. “You realise this is not something I talk about lightly?”_ _

__“Of course. And I’m not planning on passing any of this on. It’s personal stuff, right? I respect that.”_ _

__“She was trying to persuade Him not to kill me, apparently. Although for a very long time I thought She’d done nothing. Sadly She’s… no longer with us.”_ _

__“I’m sorry, man,” he said, touching his arm gently, and for a moment he seemed so much like his son that Lucifer felt like he was talking to future Dan. It was strangely comforting._ _

__“I have my own little family now, which is remarkable in itself. But being around all you lot is still rather strange.”_ _

__“Well if there’s one thing that Dan’s drummed into my head today, it’s that you are a family. Which means that you’re my family too.” He threw his stub to the floor and squashed it with his shoe. Then he held out his arms. “Come here.”_ _

__“Really?”_ _

__“You wanna be a part of this family, you gotta learn how to hug properly. Come here, son.” Lucifer surrendered, though it felt very awkward. Dan’s father didn’t let go, but spoke to him quietly. “Look, I’ll say this to you because I said the same thing to Chloe years ago, but if you ever need a Dad for anything, I’m your guy.”_ _

__The concept of the frail human trying to fill the role of Father was ridiculous. But at the same time, somehow adorable. “I- I’m not sure what to say.”_ _

__“Don’t say anything. And don’t start blubbing on me like she did either.”_ _

__“Certainly not,” Lucifer replied, letting go with a smile. And then, because he felt like he owed something, he pulled out his flask. “May I offer you a drink, Mr. Espinoza?”_ _

__“Thanks,” he accepted and took a draft. “And you can call me Emmanuel.” Lucifer froze for a moment, but before he could come up with a suitable retort, the man passed back the flask and went on. “I wonder, would you have any objections if I prayed for you and your dad?”_ _

__About a hundred dollars worth of single malt scotch sprayed from Lucifer’s mouth onto the paving stones. “How exactly would that prayer go?” he chortled._ _

__“I dunno. Maybe something like, ‘Dear God, can you persuade Lucifer’s dad to stop being such a dick?’” he said with a smile._ _

__Lucifer’s laughter shook him silently, and he gasped for breath. “You bloody would, as well, wouldn’t you! Just make sure you say it politely, I’d hate for you to damn yourself on my account.”_ _

__“So you do have a kind of faith, then.”_ _

__“I wouldn’t call it faith, so much as knowing. But we’re getting on rather well now, let’s not spoil it by getting into an argument about religion.”_ _

__“Good idea. Are you ready to face the masses again?”_ _

__“Yes, I think so.” They turned towards the door, but then Lucifer paused. “Emmanuel,” he began, and the man turned back to look at him, “tell me what you desire.”_ _

__“I wanna see all my kids happy. And my grandkids too.”_ _

__“Then our interests overlap. I can’t make a promise for all of them, but as far as Trixie and Dan are concerned, I can grant you that wish.”_ _

__“That’s all I need,” he said, with a smile._ _

__

__As she drove them all home, Chloe asked Dan, “Do you think we’ll have ‘Do you remember’ conversations like that in ten years time?”_ _

__“Yeah,” he said thoughtfully, “but ours will be so much more interesting. Like, ‘Do you remember when Mom shot Lucifer?’ or ‘that time we all tricked Uncle Amenadiel by standing really still and for a second he thought it he’d done it without realising?’”_ _

__“Ooh, we should definitely try that one!” Lucifer said with a grin, but he spoke softly so as not to wake the girl who slept next to him. “How about: Do you remember when we were babysitting Azrael’s fledging and he flew up onto the roof and you had to climb up on a ladder to get her down?’”_ _

__“Why would we need a ladder when we have you?” Dan asked._ _

__“Because, Daniel, what would the neighbours say if they saw me flying? They’d probably want me to clean their guttering or some such nonsense.”_ _

__“Do you really think we’re gonna get angelic nieces and nephews?” said Chloe._ _

__“I think in reality, it’s more likely to be Ella. Are _you_ thinking about angelic babies all of a sudden?”_ _

__“Still a no, human ones are hard enough work.” She turned to Dan. “Can you imagine a baby Lucifer?”_ _

__Dan chuckled. “Spawn of Satan.” Lucifer grumbled in agreement._ _

__“Exactly.” She gave him a curious look. “Are you getting broody again? Being around all your family like this?”_ _

__“It's nice, but who's going to catch all the murderers if we're at home looking after the Hellspawn? I'd much rather be out fighting crime with you two superheroes.”_ _

__“We do make an excellent team.”_ _

__“Besides,” Lucifer said, “I think we have our hands full enough with this small one. And also, I’m not done with having outrageous amounts of sex with you both all hours of the day and night.”_ _

__“I think our family is perfect, just the way it is,” Dan agreed._ _


End file.
